By Lindy Petersen
Teaches mom and dad and kids to control occasions and steer clear of knee-jerk reactions whilst kids behave in a manner that upsets mom and dad and different kids, through puzzling over the behaviour and what may be performed to alter or hinder it.
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Additional resources for Social Savvy: Help Your Child Fit in with Others
This sad scenario may be avoided if Clara’s parents STOP themselves from reacting on impulse, and look at each situation as it happens. Your reactions Look at situations in your home. Take some time to think about the way you react to your child’s behaviour. Recall a particular problem. Ask yourself the following questions and record your answers. Read both questions on each line before answering: Social Savvy text 11/10/04 2:41 PM Page 25 Managing Children’s Behaviour Yes/No 25 Yes/No Did I observe what actually happened?
Did I think at all about how to handle the situation? OR did I feel frustrated, annoyed, angry, irritated, hurt or resentful – and just react accordingly? Did I allow my child to take responsibility for solving the problem? OR did I immediately react to solve the problem myself? Did I consider long-term goals like developing my child’s sense of responsibility and confidence? OR did I only consider short-term gains like resolving the issue quickly myself? Did I handle the behaviour effectively so that it is not likely to happen again?
For instance, ‘I feel angry because you are so useless/irresponsible/rude/painful’. Sometimes anger is not the feeling you really need to express anyway. Behind anger is often a more basic emotion like embarrassment, fear or worry. This was the case when the 13year-old returned home late one night and his mother screamed this Angry ‘I’ message: ‘I’m so mad at you. You just do this to upset me. ’ Mother was quick to express her anger, yet her honest feelings were hidden. Basically, she was worried about her son, fearful for his safety and eventually relieved when he returned home.
Social Savvy: Help Your Child Fit in with Others by Lindy Petersen